Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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