We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
