i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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