k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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