biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
