doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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