TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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