you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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