I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize