i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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