You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
so let's talk penis.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
