Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
this boner is exhausting
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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