well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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