You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
True strength comes from lack of pants
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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