Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
