...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
