even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
