Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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