well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
