I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Everyone says I win the strip club
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
