We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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