We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
