my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
