East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Randomize
