no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
