He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i barfeds in our rink
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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