She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
