there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
