i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
