How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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