Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
