Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
