and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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