that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
