If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
