so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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