You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
