You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Panties = found
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
