there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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