I wish my penis had an off switch
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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