um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
