Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
