I can text with my tongue
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
