My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
