ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
