They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
