I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
