mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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