It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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