There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
