true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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