Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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